I have been hesitant to post this. Mostly out of quilt. But, I harbor some very bitter feelings about my MIL. I know, shocker. Who doesn't? For the most part, she is very good to me any my family. I do love her very much. She just drives me crazy with the things she does concerning my BIL.
I was told early on that she favored the BIL over my husband. I didn't really see that until I was pregnant and his girlfriend became pregnant. (6 months later) It really became apparent after both boys were born. (my child being 4 months older)
I have noticed on more than one(hundred) occasion that she does a lot more for them then for us. She does their child's wash for them (they didn't have facilities right near there home but even now that they do she still does it), if they didn't come over for supper when she had us over, she would take food out to them. She took their child for pictures. (when I say take I mean paid) I do have to give her a point, she paid for my child's pics in the hospital. She has given up nights out with her husband to watch their child so they go can out.
The thing is, she is taken advantage of by them. Partially, I feel bad for her. I feel she thinks if she doesn't doesn't do some of these things, they will cut her out. The BIL has a tendency to not return phone calls, etc. So, maybe she feels she has to do these things to remain in good standings with them. I don't know.
I just don't want this to become apparent to my child as they get older. This happened to my sis and I as we were growing up and it caused major problems.
It hurts me when she tells me some of the things they do. Her and her hubby have a day off during the week together. The BIL has this day off, too. I always hear how they called him to do this or that. But, they have never called me or my husband. (every so often he has that same day off) I hear how they went to lunch or went here or there. Or they took the baby to give him a break. Uh, I have my child every day all day long.
The biggest difference between us (me/hubby) and them (BIL/g-friend) is we don't make some of our problems known. We chose to have kids. We knew the sacrifices they come with. They on the other hand, did not. They complain about their money issues. We do not. So if there is something we may want/need and do not have the money for it, oh well. My thought is, as long as we have what we need for our child, we are ok. We will get what we need later. They get what they want and then complain that their child needs this or that. Guess who steps up?
I feel bad about the bitterness I harbor. She is a very good grandmother. She keeps my child most Fri evenings for a couple hours to allow us to do stuff. Typically it is going out to eat and then grocery shopping. Exciting, I know. And she is not an evil person to me by any means. I just get very upset about how differently both boys are treated. (and by boys I mean both her sons and grand sons)
I have thought about talking to her about these issues. I wonder though if it would make a difference of create a huge problem in our relationship? I don't want this to get any worse though. I feel maybe I should let it go and if it becomes a problem that my child recognizes, then I will deal with it.
sigh....
