family vacation

Even thinking about the title makes me shudder....

My cousin came up with an idea of going to the beach as a family. One huge family. Nine families. That is a lot of people. But, hey, why not. She lives in a different state than the rest of us, so she thought it would be a good opportunity to get together. Here is our journey..

Cuz enlisted the help of myself and another cousin. That way their would be representation from each of the 3 core families. My grandparents basically said, tell us when and where. First, we had to come up with a time to go. Obviously going to the beach would be a lot cheaper if we went on the off months. But, we have a family member that has school-aged kids and she works at the school. We really needed to go June-Aug. Which was fine for most. Some were a little upset because of the cost. We finally got that hurdle taken care.

Trying to get 9 families to actually commit was the next part. We didn't want to look for too big/small of house. Some peeps just were not getting that. One family was "that is a lot of time to be in one house with all of us". This is true. Seriously, it is a week. A big place. We don't have to spend every waking moment together. Finally everyone was in. The exception was, that one family would not know if they could get vacation for the weeks we were looking at. If they could, they were in. No biggie (or so I thought)

I have to say looking for a house was kind of fun. I love seeing how people decorate their houses. I don't have any taste/sense when it comes to stuff like that. Taking the virtual tours of the houses was fun. It has almost inspired me to buy a house at the beach myself! :) The 3 cuz finally found a house that was a bad price, good location for all and had mostly everything we needed. I talked to the company and found out all the logistics. As long as everyone was to agree, I was going to call today to reserve the house for this time next year. Or get it for a week (the only week available) in July.

The email was sent to all, including a link to the house and the prices for each scenario. We explained that a 50% deposit was needed come December and once you paid it, that was your commitment and if you backed out, you lost your money. We thought we were all set

Boy, the shit hit the fan yesterday.

I pointed out that this was an 8 bedroom house. We did 8 because of the family worried about vacation. If we would have gotten a 9 bedroom house and they couldn't come, peeps would be bitching about the extra cost. (i know you are nodding your head, agreeing) I said we could either have 2 families permanently double up or there were 3 bedrooms with a queen and twin bed. People could rotate. (a pain, maybe, but really, it would have been only a night or two) One aunt was not happy and said if she couldn't have her own room every night she was out. Ok...

Next, it was pointed out that there was an apt attached to the house. That apt had 2 rooms with a queen and the living room had a sleeper sofa. So, someone could take the sleeper sofa. But whom? I have a child, I was excluded. My sister has 3 kids, she was excluded, and another would have a 6 month old when this occurred, she was excluded. My grandparents sleep in separate beds, excludes them. I knew the aunt who wanted the room would not volunteer for this arrangement. One member was insistent on "forcing" 2 of the other cuz to take it. Yes, it would have made sense, but I said I didn't feel anyone was in the position to force anyone to do it. We asked for volunteers.

One cuz did step up and say yes they would take it...but for a discount. I only thought that was fair. Why should anyone have to pay full price and not have their own rooms. If this would be the case, every one's price would have gone up $30. And, if remembering correctly, we were paying just about $500/family for the week. Not to shabby if you ask me.

Once again, emails were flying. By this time, the cuz who was doing all the emailing, was almost at her breaking point. She is pregnant, so of course the hormones play a part. But, at some point in time, some one was constantly on us about one thing or another. We awaited. No one was responding. The 3 in charge decided to each call our own families and find out what was going on. I checked with one family-that was fine they are still in. Then, I checked with my other family. All of a sudden, she wants to look for a 9 bedroom house. I said...go for it but you have to keep it under this price (which was impossible) and you can do all the planning here on out. Well, then she just decided that her and her family would not go. Therefore, extra room is opened. I was going to argue. I simply stated that she did not have to do that and if she did, I do not want it ever thrown up in any one's face that she did. She said that was fine.

Now, I have to tell you that one family said that if one family backs out and we have to take the house in July, they wouldn't be able to do it because of cost. groan....

I called cuz and told her this. (first i made sure she wasn't driving cause i knew she was going to flip) Now, we had to recall everyone and give them the current scenario. Cuz did warn me that she was almost ready to bail on this idea as was another family member. I told her I was 50% there but we just needed to hang on.

About an hour later, the family who backed out, called. She asked what every one's reaction was. Obviously my grandma was upset. She is so looking forward to having a vacation with her whole family. I told her that no one wanted her to back out, we had it all figured out, we just needed to agree on paying a bit more. She stated that she thought she was doing a good thing by not going. I asked, Why. We have been trying to accommodate everyone for everything so that we can all be together. Some people gave good reasons for possibly not going. Her reason was just plain stupid. No one was asking anyone to drop out.

It got ugly. It got scary. There was shouting. There were tears. I said I was done. I was not planning anything anymore.

I called Cuz, crying. She agreed. The plug was pulled on our vacation. We did tell a few that if they wanted to take over EVERYTHING they could. I would still go, just not have one tiny thought in the planning. No one has stepped up.

I am sad. But, this is how family is sometimes.